Everyone assumes I’m a hick just because I wear a check shirt and jeans. Tori actually had the audacity to talk loud and slow to me even though we were in the same school. To be fair expecting Tori to notice anyone other than herself is always going to be nothing short of a miracle, […]
Amer-I-cans
I finally understand what my uncle meant by “Amer-I-cans”. They’re all so confident and full of themselves. Nobody ever says I’m hoping to be an actor or I’d like to be one. It’s always “Hi my name is x and I’m an actor”. I guess a bit of their brashness rubbed off on us during […]
City of Angels
Funny how that when Jorge fights it’s “interesting” but when I watch it it’s “barbaric”. What’s he even doing here? He’s irrelevant. Fuckin’ meathead should be back in Mexico with a gimp mask on sodomizing a donkey or swatting away flies from tourists Coronas. I never liked Mexicans and had my hatred validated furthermore when […]
The Hive
When we arrive at the house it’s already a hive of activity with trucks, cars, and removal vans spewed out all over the cul de sac. The house looks quite homely and nothing like the MTV style crib/mansion I was expecting. I should have known something wasn’t right when the word “crest” preceded Bel Air.“How […]
Sick World
He comes in and slams the door so I think it’s safe to say he didn’t get the part.“Well how do you get on?”“I didn’t get it.”“But why?”“Fuckin’ guy interviewing was an anti-Semite. I mean what are the chances of not running into a Jew casting director in Hollywood? I think I’m cursed.”“I told you […]
The Audition
Looking around the room I don’t see anything I should be afraid of. Pretty bog standard casting call to be honest- a couple of surfers, a smoldering EMO, a very angular Hispanic kid, and the all American boy next door. I reckon Captain America’s definitely my biggest threat. I doubt the Hispanic kid even knows […]
Mirror Mirror
“I guess I better start making tracks,” Ricki says before leaping out of bed and into the bathroom.I just hope last night’s good luck fuck serves its purpose and lands him the role. God if that can’t inspire him then I don’t know what will. Admittedly it took me a while to get going but […]
A Star is Born.
I’m still furious over our argument that took place this morning as I make my way to my agent’s office. Why has everything got to be such a constant battle with him? Maybe I should suggest relationship counselling…yes I know money is tight but my soya milk is a basic survival need. I had to […]