I’m still furious over our argument that took place this morning as I make my way to my agent’s office. Why has everything got to be such a constant battle with him? Maybe I should suggest relationship counsellingyes I know money is tight but my soya milk is a basic survival need. I had to have my coffee with full-fat milk even though I’m basically lactose intolerant because I can’t stand the taste. If he’s so concerned about savings and making cutbacks then why doesn’t he cut back on being such a jerk all the time.
I pull up at a set of traffic lights beside a newer model BMW seven series of my own car. I could probably do with an upgrade myself although if Ricki had his way he’d probably sell mine for a loaf of bread. The driver’s pretty hot and he pretends to ignore me. The lights go green and he speeds away. I look in the mirror and realize I’ve been frowning and that maybe the driver picked up on this and thought that I was older than my years. God even without being present Ricki manages to ruin my life.
I’m already ten minutes late by the time I find a good parking space (the first spot was surrounded by too many homeless). I’m not against the homeless per se but couldn’t they at least have their own designated areas? LA just seems to be awash with them these days. There’s even one outside Josh’s office with a cardboard cut-out sign that reads “Alcohol tester in need of desperate funding” which really pisses me off. I mean if they’re so content to make light of their own situation couldn’t they do it through creative writing? Daddy says you can’t buy experience so surely they should have lots of stories or they could even try writing some haikus. I’d definitely give money to someone I saw making an effort.
When I walk in Josh’s PA sends me straight through. His office has a nice new mahogany table since the last time I was here, although it does seem a lot more cluttered with sports memorabilia crap.
“What time do you call this?” He says tapping his watch.
Sorry Josh I had problems parking.”
I decide against mentioning about the homeless as I know he’s never been a stickler for time and probably only brought it up so he could flash his watch.
“Nice watch by the way.”
“Thank you R Patz…sorry Robert gave it to me as a present for getting him a part in his latest film.”
I already know he’s signed with WMA but indulge him anyway.
“Wow that’s great so what dazzling and exciting opportunities have you got for me?”
“Well as you know Cassidy things are tight across the board-even Robert took a pay cut. So I want you to bear all this in mind before I pitch anything to you.”
“Okay.”
“Right well first thing’s first I have a great role for you in a low budget indie flick based on Courtney Love’s life story. You’d play the part of one of Love’s fans in a mosh pit with guaranteed screen time.
Josh do I look like a Courtney Love groupie to you?”
He’s actually about to respond until I tell him it was a rhetorical question.
Josh slithers a smile, “Okay how about fashion?”
“Are you serious?”
“Yep.”
“Who we talking here? Calvin? Hilfiger? No don’t tell me, GAP?
“Yeah… in a way.”
“I don’t understand?”
“Overstock.com. They want to use you for their online catalogue so I guess you could be modelling anyone.”
“Overstock.com! You want ME to model for the online equivalent of Wal-Mart?”
“They’ve over one million customers-think of the exposure.”
“That’s exactly what I’m thinking of.”
“Cassidy please, just think of it as some invaluable experience on the old industry checklist.”
“That’s what you said about the duster infomercial.”
I can feel my teeth grinding so decide to change tack and ask how much it pays.
“200 dollars.”
“200 dollars but that’s even less than the last gig.”
He looks at me and shrugs as if I have the answer.
“What else have you got?”
“That’s everything I’m afraid.”
“200 dollars won’t even cover my share of this month’s rent money. Surely you must have something that pays?”
“Well I know some guys looking for actresses but I don’t really think it’d be your thing…”
“Are they leading parts?”
“Yeah, you’d certainly be the star of the show.”
“Come on Josh enough with the foreplay spit it out.”
Okay now don’t freak out but I think you’d be perfect for adult features.”
“PORN. You want me to fuck some guy on screen for cash?”
“Nothing too hardcore. You know tasteful. Cassy, baby, with a body and face like yours you could name your price.” He says and smiles at me.
I take out my phone and bash in some numbers.
“You know Josh maybe you’re right. I’m just gonna run it by my father first to see what he thinks.”
I watch his eyes do the mental arithmetic as he slowly begins to digest my words in long hard gulps.
“Wow now hold on a second there Cassidy I don’t think that’s really necessary. I mean no matter what you’re always going to be your daddy’s little girl.
“That’s right.” I say smiling to further highlight the point.
“So as I was saying it’s probably not the type of venture your father would like to see his girl involved in.”
“Okay then. Well in that case you better find me something that’ll make my father proud,” I say putting the phone away, “and make it quick because LA’s not cheap.”
The meeting abruptly ends and he gives me a peck on the cheek before escorting me out of his office.
“And give your father my regards.”
“Will do Josh.” I say staring him down for a few seconds until his PA registers the tension, looks at him and smiles awkwardly.
I leave right on cue safe in the knowledge that I’d showcased a performance worthy of any Hollywood leading lady.

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From the beginning.

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